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Writer's pictureAshley Ayala, LMFT

Top 5 parenting tips



Today is such a great day because I had the opportunity to be interviewed by The Mindset Moms for their podcast! They are two besties who live in the same neighborhood and now are here to support moms.


We had some great convos about parenting, balancing work/mom life and even discussed guilty pleasures. Mine is super embarrassing and completely surprised them (they were expecting trashy TV which is not my jam) so it was fun to hear their reactions. You can listen to the full audio here. Here's what they said about the episode


"We are so excited about today's episode. Seriously, it's sooo good! We had the pleasure of interviewing Ashley, founder of The Modern Parent. She gives incredible parenting tips and advice. We know this is going to help so many of you.

Make sure to follow her on IG and check out her course that just launched!"


One of my favorite parts about this episode was providing my top 5 tips for parents. Parenting can be super tough and there are lots of "rules" to follow. That being said, I enjoy breaking things down for you guys in attainable steps! That way you can get to it and apply them to your every day life. Check them out below:


Top 5 parenting tips

  1. Kids hit different developmental stages and it is not indicative of who they are as people. Often times we see our kid expressing an undesired behavior (hitting, lying, spending less time with the family) and we jump to long term concerns;

"what if they always express anger aggressively?"

"what if they become a pathological liar?"

"do they not know the value and importance of family? where did we go wrong?"


The thing is, though, all kids go through phases. They try things out, they lose it, they get in moods. This does not mean that the behavior is going to stick and mold them into that person. Stick it out, address the concerns appropriately, and enjoy the other qualities they have.


2. Feelings are like visitors, they come and go. I understand that we can get flooded when our kids are in a 'freak out' moment. Its soooo hard not to get sucked into it and have their tricky moment become our tricky moment (and by tricky, I mean shitty). It is so easy to get pulled into that moment and becomes revved up ourselves. But that does no good. If we are able to remain separate and compartmentalize their feelings from our own while still offering support, the moment passes quicker.



3. Communication. Its HUGE! By laying the groundwork for having open and honest communication between yourself and children, they will feel as though they can come to you anytime. Whether they are 5 or 25. This not only means checking in with them on their own stuff, but sharing yours as well! Chat with your kids about your own personal feelings and beliefs on topics. Get vulnerable with them! By keeping those lines of communication open, honest, and clear, you're modeling a healthy dynamic.


4. Maintain connection. Show interest in your kiddo. Make time for 1:1 activities with them and build a strong relationship that is long lasting. Relationships are not only vital, they are key in our society and world. When our children are raised with a strong and secure relationship with a caregiver, they are more resilient and thrive.


5. Last one best one! Self care... and don't roll your eyes because you've heard this before! There is this strange idea that when our kids are happy, were happy. And for obvious reasons, yes that is true. I believe its backwards though. I think when you as the parent have taken time for yourself, your interests, likes, and have healthy and happy relationships, you're better able to come back and respond to your children. This in turn makes them happy. The whole house runs smoother when you're in a good place and carving out time for you. When children see that you value yourself and have boundaries for your own mental heath/well being, they pick up on that and will do the same once they are older. We can't just wish more for our kids, we have to model it! Check out my FREE video on how to do a body scan when in a tough moment to better respond to your kids here


Let me know your thoughts on these tips and if you agree/disagree! Listen to the full audio of the podcast here


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